Don't Let College Talk Dominate Thanksgiving and the Transfer Process

Don't Let College Talk Take Over Thanksgiving: Strategies for Parents of High School and College Students

Thanksgiving is here—my favorite holiday. Family, friends, food, and the warmth of gratitude make this season magical. But Thanksgiving can also be a minefield of college-related questions and unsolicited advice for families with high school seniors, juniors, or even college students returning home.

If you're the parent of a teen or young adult, you know what I'm talking about. Family members, with all the best intentions, love to chime in about college admissions, applications, or the possibility of transferring schools. These conversations can quickly go from harmless to anxiety-inducing for your teen.

Today, I want to share how you can enjoy a peaceful Thanksgiving without letting college talk dominate the table—and why this is crucial for your child's emotional well-being and decision-making process.

Parents - do you know why Thanksgiving is a pressure cooker for college-bound teens? 

Picture this: Your senior just submitted their early decision application and is nervously awaiting results. Meanwhile, your junior is starting to feel the pressure of SATs, college lists, and deadlines. Enter Uncle Bob, who casually asks, “So, where are you applying? Did you apply to my alma mater? Do you think you’ll get in?”

Sound familiar?

Now, I’m not here to villainize Uncle Bob. He’s likely coming from a place of love and excitement. But for your teen, those seemingly innocent questions can feel like an interrogation under a spotlight.

Here’s why:

1. Social Pressure: Teens often compare themselves to their peers, and when adults pile on questions, it can amplify feelings of inadequacy or anxiety.
2. Unrealistic Expectations: Family members may push certain schools based on personal biases or outdated perceptions, not understanding the current admissions landscape.
3. Emotional Exhaustion: The college admissions process is already draining. Adding family pressure can make it overwhelming.

As parents, you set the tone for the holiday. Here are some strategies to ensure the college conversation doesn’t spiral out of control:

1. Set Boundaries Before the Holiday

Let extended family members know that your teen might not want to talk about college during Thanksgiving. A simple heads-up can prevent those awkward moments.

2. Shift the Focus to Gratitude

Thanksgiving is about giving thanks—not debating college choices. Encourage conversations about family traditions, favorite memories, or even plans for the holiday season.

3. Be a Buffer

If someone does bring up college, step in and redirect the conversation. For example:

• “We’re so proud of Jamie’s hard work. Let’s talk about how amazing this pumpkin pie is instead!”

4. Remind Your Teen to Take a Breath

Reassure your teen that it’s okay to feel stressed but that they’re doing great. Sometimes, they need your calm, steady presence to balance the chaos.

For parents with college students returning home, Thanksgiving can be an excellent time to check in—gently.

Here’s the thing: Not every student finds the perfect fit on their first try. Some may realize their current school isn’t meeting their academic, social, or emotional needs. And that’s okay.

Transferring colleges is not a failure; it’s an opportunity for a better fit. Some colleges are easier for transfer students to get into. However, the process requires careful planning.

Here’s how to approach the transfer conversation:

1. Ask Thoughtful Questions

• “How’s school going?”
• “Are you happy with your classes and social life?”
• “What are your grades looking like this semester?”

These open-ended questions can help your child reflect on their experience without feeling pressured.

2. Encourage Honest Reflection

If your child is unhappy, explore why. Is it the campus culture, the distance from home, or the academic rigor? Understanding the “why” is critical before moving forward.

3. Start Planning Early

Transfer deadlines often fall in March or May, so now is the time to research schools, gather transcripts, and start applications.

Whether your high schooler is finalizing applications or your college student is considering a transfer, Strategic Admissions Advice is here to guide you every step of the way.

• For Seniors and Juniors: We help fine-tune applications, essays, and strategies to maximize admissions success.
• For College Students: We provide expert advice on transferring, ensuring your child finds the right fit for their goals and needs.

The holidays are stressful enough without added pressure about college. Let us lighten the load and provide the expert guidance you and your child deserve.

Let’s Connect

Ready to take the next step? Schedule a free Discovery Call today. Whether it’s crafting a standout application, exploring transfer options, or simply getting clarity in the admissions process, we’re here to help.

Visit www.callwithsaa.com to book your session.

Thanksgiving should be a time of gratitude and connection—not stress and anxiety over college. By setting boundaries, being present, and offering your teen the support they need, you can create a holiday they’ll cherish for years to come.

And when you’re ready for professional guidance, Strategic Admissions Advice is just a call away.

Here’s to a Thanksgiving filled with joy, love, and maybe an extra slice of pie.

Happy holidays!