How to Help Your Teen with Their College Essay (Part 2)

As parents, you are deeply invested in your teen’s future, particularly when it comes to college admissions. One crucial aspect of this process is the college essay, a personal statement that allows your child to reveal their unique voice and character to admissions officers. Helping your child craft a powerful and engaging essay can feel overwhelming, but with the right approach, you can play a key role without overstepping.

Today, I’ll guide you through how to effectively assist your teen in brainstorming, structuring, and ultimately polishing their college essay. With over 20 years of experience in the college admissions space, I’ve seen firsthand what works—and what doesn’t—when it comes to parent involvement. Let’s explore how you can contribute meaningfully to your teen’s essay-writing journey.

The Parent-Teen Dynamic: Support, Don’t Criticize  

As parents, it’s natural to want to offer feedback on your teen’s writing, but too often, this feedback can be interpreted as criticism. This defensiveness can create tension and make the process more stressful than it needs to be. The best way to avoid this is to step into the role of a brainstorming partner. Your teen needs your guidance, but it’s crucial to keep the focus on generating ideas rather than critiquing their writing.

Consider the brainstorming process a conversation. As you talk with your teen, reflect on their experiences, interests, and accomplishments. By helping them explore potential topics, you’ll assist them in finding a subject that reflects their personality, growth, and values. This is what colleges are looking for—a genuine insight into who the applicant is beyond their grades and extracurriculars.

Here’s an example: one student I worked with struggled with the topic of how his little brother changed his life. Initially, he only viewed it through a negative lens—being forced to babysit, the age gap, the loss of freedom. But by working together, we were able to reframe the experience. He realized that his role as a big brother had taught him valuable lessons in responsibility, patience, and mentorship—qualities that eventually became the heart of his essay.

Key Tip: Encourage your teen to think about their story in new ways. Sometimes, it’s the most challenging experiences that lead to the greatest personal growth.

What Makes a College Essay Stand Out?  

The college essay is an opportunity for students to showcase their individuality and voice, but there’s a specific structure that the most effective essays follow. As a parent, it’s important to have a basic understanding of this structure so you can guide your child without rewriting the essay for them.

A strong college essay should:

1. Tell a Story: Admissions officers read thousands of essays. The ones that stand out are personal and compelling. The essay should read more like a narrative than a list of accomplishments.   

2. Show, Don’t Tell: The best essays illustrate personal qualities through stories and experiences rather than simply stating traits. For instance, instead of saying “I’m a hard worker,” a student could describe a moment when they overcame a challenging situation through persistence and effort.
3. Reflect Personal Growth: Colleges want to see students who are self-aware and capable of growth. Essays that demonstrate personal development are particularly impactful.
4. Connect to Future Goals: The essay should link the student’s past experiences to their future ambitions, whether in education, career, or personal development.

For instance, the student who wrote about babysitting his little brother wasn’t just telling a story about sibling rivalry. He showed how this experience shaped his desire to become a professor, someone who educates and mentors others. This connection between past experience and future ambition made his essay memorable.

 How Parents Can Help with Brainstorming  

One of the best ways to assist your teen in the essay process is by helping them brainstorm. As parents, you know your child’s life story better than anyone else, and you can offer valuable insights into their character and growth.

Start by asking open-ended questions to spark their creativity:

- What experiences have shaped who you are today?

- What challenges have you overcome, and what did you learn from them?

- When did you feel proud of something you accomplished, and why?

- Who are the people who have influenced your values or decisions?

- How do your passions align with your goals for the future?

Encouraging your teen to think deeply about their life can lead to discovering a story that is both personal and unique. You don’t need to dictate the narrative—your role is to facilitate reflection.

Key Tip: Keep the brainstorming sessions light and positive. Avoid turning them into a critique of your child’s past decisions or behaviors. The goal is to help them reflect, not to point out what could have been done differently.

Structuring the Essay  

Once your teen has chosen a topic, the next step is to create a structure for their essay. This is where you can help them organize their thoughts into a clear, cohesive narrative.

A common and effective structure includes:

1. Introduction: Start with a hook that grabs the reader’s attention. This can be a vivid description, a quote, or a surprising fact.
2. Body: The body of the essay should delve into the experiences that shaped the student’s character and reflect on the lessons learned. These paragraphs should include specific details and anecdotes.
3. Conclusion: The conclusion should tie everything together by showing how the experiences discussed have prepared the student for college and future goals. It’s the student’s opportunity to demonstrate their readiness for the next step in their education.

Reviewing and Proofreading the Essay  

After the essay is drafted, your role as a parent shifts from brainstorming partner to proofreader. Encourage your teen to take ownership of the writing process, but step in when they need help refining their work.

As you proofread, focus on:

- Clarity: Is the essay easy to follow? Does the story make sense from start to finish?

- Tone: Does the essay sound like your teen? Is their personality shining through?

- Grammar and Punctuation: Minor errors can detract from an otherwise strong essay. Help your teen polish their work without rewriting it.

Key Tip: Avoid being too hands-on during this phase. It’s important that the essay remains in your teen’s voice. Admissions officers can usually tell when a parent has heavily edited a piece, and it can backfire.

When to Seek Professional Help  

If your teen is struggling to get started or needs extra support with their essay, it may be worth considering additional resources. At Strategic Admissions Advice, we offer a comprehensive course, How to Write an Awesome College Essay, designed to guide students through every step of the essay-writing process. Whether your teen needs help brainstorming ideas, structuring their essay, or polishing the final draft, our course provides expert advice and feedback to ensure they submit a standout essay.

We know how stressful this process can be, and we’re here to help both you and your teen navigate it with confidence.

Helping your teen with their college essay doesn’t have to be a source of frustration. By taking on the role of brainstorming partner, guiding them through structure, and offering light proofreading, you can provide valuable support without taking over the process. Remember, the college essay is your teen’s opportunity to shine—and with your guidance, they can craft a story that leaves a lasting impression on admissions officers.

If you’d like more in-depth assistance, consider enrolling your teen in our How to Write an Awesome College Essay course. We’ve helped hundreds of students submit essays that get noticed, and we’re ready to help your child do the same.